Virtual Arguments Cause Real Pain

These last few weeks have not been good for me.  Besides learning that a very good friend from library school whom I hadn't seen in years passed away (She called me a few days before she died), I also lost a very close virtual friend but not through death but through something I truly regret saying.  I've tried to apologize.  I admitted I was wrong.  I asked for a chance to talk.  I wrote an email explaining how life is too short to be angry at friends and telling him how badly I felt about what I had done.  No response.  I'm hoping this just means he's busy in real life or just not ready to make up yet and not that our friendship is over.  But all I want is to know one way or the other.  It's so true that the worse punishment someone can give you when they're mad is to ignore you.

As I grieve for my girlfriend from library school, I also grieve for my virtual friend.  We had some really great times together, and we used to talk in Facebook as well as in Second Life.  We worked together, explored together, danced together, and, sure, we had arguments, but I never expected it to end this way.  There were times I thought things weren't working, but I couldn't just walk away.  All friends have fights.  That doesn't mean they don't care for one another.  And just because you meet someone online and never "see" them in person, doesn't mean you can't develop feelings for them, doesn't mean you can't be real friends as well as virtual friends.  So when something like this happens, the pain is very real.  Believe me, it's as real as my apology.  I truly hope my virtual friendship isn't over.  I still mean what I wrote in the poem below that I shared at a Poetryfest in SL.

Virtual Friend

We met in a virtual world
a place created from fantasy
yet the friendship we formed was based on truth and reality
I can't fully grasp all that you've come to mean to me
I can tell you things that I can share with no other
I have no fear that you will hurt me, and you know your confidences are safe with me
You see me clearer than those who see me every day
even though you've never laid eyes on me
You touch me deeper than those who are always by my side
even though you've never laid a hand on me
Your support strengthens and encourages me
I am glad to share your sorrow,
You can heal my pain
just by listening.
And when we laugh together, it's at the same jokes
the ones written in the same books
but we read them from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet they are so close
as close as we are virtually.

Where does one find a friend? Not just an acquaintance but someone true, someone honest like you?
Age doesn’t matter, sex doesn’t matter
and distance matters even less
I guess
we never would've met years ago
before technology gave us a way
Today
there are so many ways to stay in touch online
You're always there for me
and I am thankful I found you along the path
It's a lonely walk otherwise
And when we walk it together, it's the same path
the one we follow that leads the same way
but we walk it from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet we are so close virtually.