No Resolutions This Year

Every year on New Year's Eve I make a list of resolutions that I end up breaking within the first few days of the New Year, so I decided not to bother this year. Yes, there are things I'd like to accomplish and it's true it always helps to have goals. Yet resolutions should be ongoing and not just once a year plans.


2009 was not a very good year for me. I was sick quite often and developed asthma for which I was hospitalized this past summer for a week. Although I published my first novel, "Cloudy Rainbow" in 2008, sales were not wonderful, and I have not been motivated to either promote it or complete a follow-up book. Due to my health issues and needing more time for myself, I also made the decision to resign from my position as publisher of the online magazine, RezLibris, which was aimed at librarians in the virtual world of Second Life. I don't regret that decision, but there's always a little sadness when you give up something that's been important in your life especially when it is hard to find someone to take over your position.

So other than trying to find ways to relax more, take better care of myself, and stay healthier in 2010, I'd also like to enjoy my five year old daughter more (she's hinted at a trip to Disney World for her 6th birthday next fall which I think will do us all good), find more time for friends, and maybe I'll be inspired at some point to start writing again or, if not, that can always be my resolution for another year. For this year, being healthy and happy is my priority, and I wish that for all of you, as well.

Searching for the Virtual Meaning of Christmas

It seems to pass us by each year in the rush of crowded malls and shopping centers, and I have to admit I do most of my shopping online now to avoid a bit of that. But while the season seems to start earlier and earlier each year, some decorations going up right after Halloween (and many catalog and online items being advertised in late summer), Christmas always ends up speeding by in a blur of torn wrapping paper and blinking holiday lights. Not much peace, not much joy, too much hectic, too much stress.

So I take a break and look at what the virtual world of Second Life offers, some beautifully decorated winter sims decked out with Christmas trees and ice rinks, falling snow and lovely ice sculptures. But yet again not too much in the way of the blessed. A few churches but not many nativities or mangers except those you can buy on Xstreet. I guess Virtual residents are more interested in ice skating or having virtual snowball fights than reflecting on the season, but that's okay. The magic is still there behind the pixels if you believe. And even if you don't, there are still some pretty sights.

What's most fun of all is if you own a home and can decorate it. Just watch the prims, and you're okay. It's also usually a lot easier decorating your virtual tree or hanging your virtual stockings from your virtual fireplace than doing it in your real home, and Santa would be proud to come down most virtual fireplaces. In fact, there are quite a few nice plates of cookies and hot chocolate that most virtual bakers sell that can be left out for him.

What about Christmas cards? Well, in real life, sending cards is often a chore and postage increases each year. But in the virtual world, sending a card is only a click away. Just drop them on your friends and spread the cheer.

So whether you celebrate in real life, Second Life or both, the main thing is to enjoy the season among family and friends and to remember the true meaning. It doesn't have to cost a lot to show you care. And in giving of yourself, you always receive much more back.

Reality Can be the Perfect Fantasy

My daughter just celebrated her fifth birthday at the end of October. Her party was at a farm because she loves horses. It wasn't the best day weather-wise, but she and her little friends all got to take pony rides, feed baby animals, and listen to animated chickens sing the birthday song (she even got up and did a chicken dance). Just a week earlier, she had been thrilled to lose her first baby tooth and receive a dollar bill from the tooth fairy (inflation has caused the TF to increase her allowances). She was also busy this week with a Halloween party in her Kindergarten class where she dressed up as, what else, a horse. She also went back one day to her pre-school for a Halloween parade and then ended the week with trick-or-treating in the horse costume for yet another time. It was fun seeing her get all excited, although I do have to admit it was a bit exhausting for me.

Besides her birthday party at the farm, my daughter also went on a field trip with her school the day before to another farm where she said the kids got to pick pumpkins and even milk cows. She told me her cow didn't give her any milk, but she still enjoyed trying to get some. My daughter has a way with words already, but I guess it's in the genes. I showed her my farm in Farmville on Facebook, and she was so excited when one of my friends gave us a horse. But then she wanted to ride it, and I had to explain that, while you could do that in Second Life and some other games you can't do that in all games.

Next year, my daughter informed me, after she'd asked if there were anymore new gifts that I hadn't shown her, that she wants her sixth birthday party in Disney World. Will it cost too much, she wants to know, to fly her whole class there? And can we just please look at their party room?

Well, I have to say, I am tempted by the idea. I've taken out some books from the library and even showed Holly around a replica of Disney World in Second Life. She wanted to go in Cinderella's castle but was disappointed when all that she saw there were shops. She got bored, so I told her to wait for the real thing. Sometimes reality is more interesting than fantasy, but often a mixture of both can be the best combination. I can't wait until next year.

Exhibiting at a Virtual Writer's Expo

Although my book , Cloudy Rainbow, was published late last fall, I missed the spring writer's exibition in Second Life. I visited it, though, and was impressed by what I saw -- the number of authors who participated and the many opportunities for promotion. I vowed I would get involved when another event was planned. So when I heard that the Autumn Writer's Exhibition (AWE) was open, I applied for an exhibit space and was given a free tent to put up my work. I already had a poster of the cover of my book with links to my website, http://debbiedelouise.com/ and a few note cards that I had used when I'd done some virtual book talks for book groups in Second Life, so I used that as the focal point of the exhibit. Then, since rainbows is a big part of my book and one of the words in its title, I added a rainbow above a comfortable book seat where visitors could sit while visiting the tent.

While this is my first time exhibiting at a virtual writer's expo, I am hopeful that it won't be the last. I don't expect to sell a lot of books through this promotion, but you never know. It also helps to network with other writers, attend the numerous events that are also offered, and just have fun. Where else can you have this type of opportunity for free?

For more information on the Autumn Writer's Exposition, see http://www.writtenword.org.uk/

Home Sweet Virtual Home

There are many people who never have homes in Second Life or any other virtual world and, I have to admit, I did question the importance of having one when I first joined over two years ago. It seemed strange to want to have a place when you wouldn't spend much time there (or, at least I didn't expect to spend too much time there when I joined). But I guess the same reason people buy real homes are the same ones that persuade virtual residents to create their own cozy virtual nests -- to have a place to call "home" (especially useful to change clothes in SL); to have a place to invite friends (and hold those wild SL parties if you're so inclined); to have a spot to display your art, hobbies, or other interests as long as they don't take up too many of those precious prims that we are all so short of and that in real life are equivalent to space; and, in some cases, to have a place to share with a SL partner as one would a husband, wife, or family in real life.

I've had several virtual homes so far. Since I've moved a few times, I've changed homes with each move. I've also accidentally taken up my homes and decided to replace them with new places rather than having to bother putting them out again and figuring out where everything goes (a good excuse to redecorate). Currently, I have a new home that was built for me by a friend who heard of my plight when I took up my last home while changing clothes. He told me there was a way to lock my prims so I wouldn't keep having these accidents, so I might just be stuck with this place for awhile. I actually don't mind because it's rather cozy and fits well in my skybox.

It's really amazing to see what people do with their virtual homes. Virtual interior and exterior decorating is really a unique art form. And virtual builders also do an incredible design with so many house styles. Virtual gardening and landscaping is also a major pasttime, as is decorating one's home for the holidays. So put out those welcome mats, fresh prim flowers, and glasses of wine, it's time to toast your virtual home sweet home even if it's only on your computer screen.

Starting Off on the Right Foot after a Rough Beginning

New beginnings are always refreshing. My daughter starts Kindergarten this Tuesday (probably already has by the time anyone reads this). Of course, I have high hopes for her despite the fact that this past week has been quite trying for our family. An unexpected illness landed me in the hospital and turned many of my plans upside down. And I am definitely a planner. I organize, make lists, try to anticipate all upcoming appointments, jobs, events, etc. I put a lot of stress on myself, and that's probably a big part of my problem and why I may have come down with a severe case of asthma that has never been a part of my history or background.

I've never smoked or suffered from allergies before and, other than what I thought was a regular cold I caught a few weeks ago and other annoying but minor ailments I've suffered from lately, most of them more chronic than serious, I've been pretty healthy most of my life. Besides one small surgery and the birth of my daughter, this was only the third time I'd been overnight in a hospital and actually the longest hospital stay of my life. I've seen more doctors and had more tests done than I've had in years. I'm not one who likes to go to doctors regularly, but there was no choice in this matter. I was having severe breathing attacks, coughing spasms, and felt generally miserable. I couldn't eat or sleep and could hardly talk. It was a very frightening experience. Compounding it, of course, was my concern for my young daughter. I knew she was worried about me and was also nervous about starting school. It was a hard time for her, and I wanted to be there for her.

I had also been told to remove the new cat we had recently taken in from our house, even though several doctors agreed he wasn't the cause of the problem because, before the loss of my beloved Floppy two years earlier, I'd had cats all my life but that, because of my sensitivity, it would not be a good idea to have the new cat around for awhile. It broke my heart to have to do this and I knew it hurt my daughter although she understood it was to help mommy feel better, but we were lucky that a relative was able to temporarily board the cat while I was recovering.

Other concerns, although less paramount emotionally but still of significant importance, were my having to be away from both my jobs, my real life one as a librarian and the one I have been doing in Second Life for almost a year now publishing an online magazine about a virtual world. While worries about my real life job mounted because my sick leave was used up, my boss was very understanding that my health had to come first before I could consider coming back to work. Likewise, my staff on RezLibris took over handling the monthly production work so that I could take my time recovering. They knew that even though the magazine was not a regular paying job to me, it is still very important to me.

So it's been rough. I'm home now and starting to recover gradually. I'll be off from work a little longer and also taking a break from my virtual world endeavors, too. I'm concentrating on my health and learning to relax more which can only aid my recovery. I'll spend some quality time with my daughter and see her get started at school. It's been a hard start for both of us, but we'll get through it. That's about it as far as my plans because I've learned that planning really doesn't work when anything can happen to interrupt those plans. It's one step at a time now; day to day. That's the way you start. That's the way you go on.

The Pitter Patter of Furry Feet

I am proud to announce that there's been a recent addition to my home. His name is Stripey, and he's a four-month old Tabby cat. I have to admit I was hesitant to make the decision to adopt him because, if any of you know my story, I am not fully recovered from the loss of my beloved Floppy cat who passed away two years ago this coming October. But since my daughter insisted that, at four and three-quarters years old, she is old enough and because my neighbor, the cat rescuer, did not give up on persuading me take one of the kittens she was trying to find a home for, there is now the lovely sound of the pitter patter of furry feet again throughout my house.

It really is fun having a new kitten, although it does take some adjusting to (it's been some time since I had a kitten, as Floppy lived to the pretty decent age of 15). The preparation itself was pretty tiring. I had to kittenproof the house which wasn't easy in light of all the stuff a pre-schooler leaves around.

The kitten is adapting nicely. He's found some great spots to hide, but he's very social. He loves our front bay window. He's also caught several insects around the house, a few small spiders, which has delighted my daughter who shares her mother's fears of bugs. I am sure if a mouse got in the house, he'd take care of that, too, as he loves the toy mice I've given him to play with. My daughter laughs at how he runs and pounces on them.

I think it will be great that Stripey will probably grow up with Holly. As with my other cat, I intend to keep him as an indoors cat, make sure he has all his shots, and take him to the vet regularly. I know that it will be sad when he is ill or gets old, but that is part of having and loving a pet. They become part of your family.

So here's to the pitter and patter of furry feet. It's a sound I welcome hearing. Welcome, Stripey!

Even Avatars Get Sick

I just got over a bad bug which threw me for a curve (high temperature, chills, that generally lousy/sick feeling). Although I've been through this many times in my life, it was a bit scarier this time with all the warnings about Swine Flu and Super Bugs. How does one stay healthy when germs are everywhere? For me, working in a public library, it is especially hard because of the germs that can be transmitted from all the adult patrons, kids, and even staff members. They tell you to wash your hands, spray Lysol around, take your vitamins, eat healthy. Do these preventions work? Sometimes and sometimes not.


Catching a virus or flu is not the only way that people get sick or feel bad. Many people suffer from chronic illnesses that, while aren't usually fatal, can be quite debilitating. Take migraines, for example, or back pain, arthritis, acid reflux, allerigies, the list is pretty long. A lot of these ailments are caused by stress, diet, or just a predisposition to them through heredity or history. It seems staying healthy, in light of all these possible conditions, is not too easy.

But getting better once one is sick is even harder because most people avoid going to doctors until they are pretty sick or in too much pain they literally have no choice. But do you blame them? Most doctors have limited office hours and then squeeze you into an already overbooked schedule which results in your waiting an hour or longer in the waiting room and then possibly an hour more in the exam room. Then, when you do get your five minutes with the doctor, he or she either orders you to go for tests, prescribes a pill that has side effects, or refers you to a specialist. That's why so many people resort to home remedies, chiropractor treatments, and acupuncture. But are these the answer? For some, but not for all.

If you belong to a virtual world like Second Life, you may also mistakenly think your avatar can't get sick. Guess what? Even though a computer-generated image is pretty indestructible (as long as your computer works that is), there are viruses other than computer ones it can catch. I'm often amazed at how many people my avatar knows who come down with colds, viruses, all the usual human complaints, and how they all swear they caught it from one another over the computer which we all know just isn't possible. On a more somber note, avatars even die. There were two deaths recently among my group of library/information people in Second Life. Where do avatars go when they die? No one really knows the answer to that either, but they are missed and mourned by those who have known them virtually. I can attest to that. Even online memorials are sometimes given in their honor or virtual trees planted in their memory.

So how do you keep you and your avatar alive and well? I guess the bottom line is trying to lead as healthy a lifestyle as you can. Don't smoke, excercise, eat fruits and vegetables, retain a healthy weight and have as much fun as you can even if it means hanging out in a virtual world. After all, laughter is the best medicine, and happy avatars are healthy avatars.

Traveling on Your Computer Saves Money and is Still Fun

We're all concerned with saving money these days, so many people are travelling more locally for summer vacations. But have you considered that there are places you can go without even leaving your house and still have a great time when you visit some of the attractions of a virtual world?

If you've been reading my blog, you know that, in addition to being an author of the virtual romance, Cloudy Rainbow, I am also a publisher of a magazine aimed at librarians in the virtual world of Second Life. For this magazine, RezLibris, I have recently started a travel column that will feature monthly themes of places to go in Second Life. For instance, in our June issue that just came out, we feature an article on a museum devoted to King Tut, the Virtual King Tut exhibit at Kings Rezzable. In July, we will take a tropical vacation to the Costa Rica sims to scuba dive, horseback ride, and enjoy the many amenities of these islands. For August, we are planning more vacation fun with a trip to a Second Life amusement park or game sim. And in September it will be back to school to visit one of the many schools that offer virtual instruction or perhap one of the many real colleges that have a presence in the virtual world.

For those of you who have never experienced sightseeing in a virtual world, there are many benefits besides the financial. Have you often worried about what to wear to a party or other social event? In a virtual world, you can attend in your pajamas literally and your avatar, the 3D respresentation of yourself that you create in such a world, can wear gowns or tuxedos that cost $2 or less to buy. But you will also find that you are invited to as many pajama parties as formal events in these worlds, too!

Another benefit to virtual travel is that no passports are required; instead a password enables you to travel around the world and meet people from many countries, too. In addition to visiting many international sights that are recreated as places or sims in virtual worlds like Second Life, you may also visit locations not possible in real life -- science fiction worlds, immersive environments, role-playing lands to name a few.

But how to you find the best places to visit in a virtual world? In Second Life, many players or residents as they are known, have created blogs devoted to their travels (some of my favorites are Second Seeker, Mermaid Diaries, and SL Things to Do) as well as inworld groups catering to others who enjoy the same type of interests be it Art, Music, Science, Sports, or other entertainments. Even virtual travel agencies have sprung up along with virtual hotels, resorts, and clubs.

So for fun at your fingertips literally, pack light, save money on gas, and take a virtual vacation!

Online Friends and Virtual Pals

I know there's a lot of concern in the world today about the affect computers are having on society, how reliant we are becoming on them, how they are affecting our socialization skills, especially those of younger people who have over the years gone from interacting with others in group activities such as sports and clubs to spending more time in front of computer screens emailing, chatting, and social networking with people who are often strangers. I know there are dangers involved, but being of a slightly older generation (35+), I never thought I'd become so hooked myself or find that I could develop real online friendships. Or are they real? What is the definition of friendship? Can you be a friend to someone you have never seen? Is it possible that type of friendship could even be deeper than that with friends you see every day?

To answer these questions, I reflected on my own experience. As a librarian, I've been a member of online mailing list groups for a long time where I was able to discuss some of my interests in books, cats, and parenting. But two years ago, I ventured out into another online experience. I joined Second Life, a virtual world where not only could I talk to people, but I could see them, or at least the 3D graphical represenation of themselves that they call avatars. Even more fun, I could create an avatar of myself, dress her like a Barbie doll, name her, and even have her dance to the best steps that I haven't even mastered. I have to admit I was skeptical at first and quite confused. There is a much more difficult learning curve involved in participating in a virtual world versus joining a yahoo or Google group. After two years, I still can't build anything, but I am starting to arrange the furniture in my house better than I had when I first joined. I still have problems keeping up with multitasking my private IM's with open chat, but I'm also improving there.

It's strange for me to realize that I've made more online friends during my time in Second Life than I have in real life. Is that sad? I don't really think so. What does it say about me? I've always been a bit of a loner, shy and somewhat introverted. Throughout my life, reading and writing have been my favorite pasttimes, and you know they are rather solitary occupations. So maybe that's why a virtual world appeals to me. And yet, Second Life is anything but solitary. In fact, if it were solitary, you would be bored out of your mind. The whole idea is to mingle there, find something to do, and have fun. But it can be more than that if you want it to be. It can be a place to develop real friends.

When I joined Second Life, I was lucky in that I found out about a community of librarians who had started up a great group -- what was then Second Life Library 2.0 and is now the Alliance Virtual Library. Through this group, I became involved in writing about their news, events, and happenings (yes there are virtual newspapers and magazines and most of them are online, too). I opened up my own pet memorial center after my beloved cat, Floppy, died. People actually helped me build and design it. After some time, I heard about a library magazine that was just getting off the ground and decided to join its efforts. I have been working for them for a year and am now the publisher of RezLibris http://rezlibris.com/ I oversee a staff of ten, and I consider many of them my friends. We are all in touch practically daily through email or chat and meet in Second Life occasionally, too. Two of them gave me a hand when I had to relocate my virtual home, helping me set out furnishings and landscaping. One helped me create and maintains my real life website: http://www.debbiedelouise.com.

So getting back to my question about what constitutes a real friend. The definition of a friend to me is someone you can talk to, someone you enjoy being with, and someone who you know you can trust and who will help see you through the hard times, who will be there to lend an ear and give you a hug to lift you up when you are down. Does an online friend or virtual pal fit that description? You can certainly talk to someone online or in a virtual world, but most of the chatting is done by typing words on a keyboard (using voice is now possible in most of these worlds, yet typing is still preferred). Can you really enjoy being with someone you've never met in person? Why not? I often find myself laughing at some things people write, and I actually have memories of fun things I have done with friends in Second Life, the virtual parties and dances I've attended, the incredible art and other exhibits I have viewed, the meetings and conferences I took part in.

A harder question is if you can trust someone you meet online or in a virtual world. Since these people can reveal whatever they'd like about themselves and still remain anonymous by using a pen name (whatever they call their avatars), how can one place trust in such elusive identities? And yet is meeting someone at a singles bar or even a respectable place in real life any better? Many times you just have to trust your instincts. You need to be careful, yes, but that is true in all social situations, the real as well as the virtual.

Another difficult question of whether online friends should be considered real actually concerns the real person behind the keyboard typist or avatar. Can someone you speak to on the computer actually help you in hard times? When I had some last-minute problems regarding the publication of my book, Cloudy Rainbow, I turned to an online friend to discuss the situation. Just talking about it to someone who was there to listen helped, and you'd be surprised at how little real life family members or friends really listen in that way. A virtual pal sometimes has more time and compassion for us than a distant relative or a busy friend.

Last but not least, how in the world can an online friend give a supportive hug? Well, it isn't easy but, in a virtual world, or any immersive experience, the imagination is capable of recreating physical contact. I'm not referring to any x-rated stuff that many of these virtual worlds are avoided because of. What I'm talking about is what psychologists have known for ages, that all feelings begin in the mind. Virtual hugs and handshakes are possible through imagination or animations. Not exactly the real thing, but a pretty decent substitute.

So, yes, online and virtual friendship is not only possible, it can be very rewarding. Whether or not you ever meet these people in person, they can play a very meaningful part of your real as well as virtual life.

The Tough Truth about Talent

For those of you who haven't watched the amazing video of Susan Boyle's singing performance for Britain's Got Talent, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY, it's worth it to have a look. This unassuming, unattractive lady who is initially scoffed at for dreaming of a singing career, belts out a tune that is nothing less of heartrending. A lesson is here for those of us who judge a book by its cover or imagine that talent comes in any predefined or stereotyped package. In so many fields today, especially the creative ones that are so competitive, the only edges that people can get are who they know or how they look. It's sad but true. So much talent is out there waiting to be recognized that never will be.

Performers are particularly judged by their looks, and, in some fields, such as fashion, youth is a criteria for success. Writers, however, often pen their first famous works after they retire from other careers and, while a nice cover photo is great, it's not essential nor is a model-perfect figure or appearance for book tours. Still, writing talent is not often measured fairly and accurately by editors, publishers, and agents. It is not an easy task to weed out the chafe from the wheat, so to say when there are so many manuscripts vying for attention and promotion.

So how is true talent recognized and identified? How do you know if you have what it takes to shine in a world where so many wannabe stars can block your light? Think back to your childhood. What hobbies and pasttimes did you enjoy most? Did you ever have teachers compliment you especially on one of your creations or projects? Were you particularly proud of your achievements in one field? Is there something today that you still dabble in and that co-workers or friends admire? Although talent needs to be nutured, it usually is inborn. Many artists and musicians come from families of people with similar talent, although it's not purely a genetic inheritance. Often, it is being exposed to certain pursuits from an early age. For instance, most great pianists start lessons early. But not all those who begin young become virtuosos. The seed has to be there. but so does a great deal of hard work and luck.

For myself, I've always loved to write. I was encouraged by family members and teachers to continue writing and expressing myself with words. But most of what I wrote, I wrote for myself. I enjoyed seeing some of it in print in college when I wrote for my college newspaper and later when I wrote for pet magazines. But when I finally decided to self publish my romance novel, "Cloudy Rainbow," it was a different ballgame. I didn't expect to become an overnight talent or grow rich by the copies that were sold. And, of course, neither scenario has taken place. I'm glad my work is out there and am hoping to continue writing. I'm also hoping it will be recognized by a traditional publisher or an agent eventually. Like Susan Boyle, you just never know. You have to keep trying to live your dream and polishing your talent no matter what the initial reactions are.

When it Rains, it Pours, literally and virtually

Have you ever had a really bad week full of really bad news? I know we all get those once in awhile, and this past week was my turn. It started when my mom informed me her cat 16-year old cat passed away. I felt bad for her because I knew what she was going through and although the cat hadn't been mine, I'd known him since he was a kitten. It also brought back the loss of my Floppy who will be gone two years this fall and whom was the both the inspiration for my book, "Cloudy Rainbow," and the pet memorial center I operate in Second Life.

The week continued with bad news. I learned a long-term patron at the library where I worked who was also a good friend had succumbed to the Cancer she was trying to fight. I had seen the woman less than a month ago. We had shared a smile and a hug. You just never know.

A few other less noteworthy things occurred both at work and at home that added to my rotten week, and then the week was topped off with a message from an online friend that both surprised and saddened me. I was surprised both by the message and my feelings about it. For the purposes of this blog piece, the circumstances don't matter. It just meant that my online correspondence with this person would change and possibly cease. Have others experienced this, I wondered? Have you ever really come to depend on the support and friendship of someone you've never met but someone you email or chat with on a regular basis over the Internet? I imagine this occurs occasionally if not commonly as our society has become so reliant on computers and more people are still lonely even if they have real life friends and family.

In my book, "Cloudy Rainbow," my main character also becomes involved with someone she meets online in a virtual world who she later learns is someone who is actually part of her real life. In a turnabout, the feelings she develops with this person online transfer to her real life relaltionship with him. When I wrote this, I wasn't basing this on any of my own experiences, even though many other events in the book are fictionalized fact. But now that this has happened to me, in a different yet similar way, I can relate. Another acquaintance I have in Second Life recently wrote a column for RezLibris, the library magazine I co-publish, saying that people often reveal more of themselves online and can become as close if not closer than in real life because they are more transparent, having only their words to share with one another. I had never thought about this, but I now see it is very true.

So while I mourn for my mom's cat and a library patron friend, I also mourn the friendship of someone I'd never met in person but whose friendship meant a great deal to me.

When it rains, it pours, literally and virtually. I hope next week is better.

Writer's Blocks

I am always amazed when people say they are experiencing a "writer's block." Not that I can't sympathize; I definitely can. Although I do a lot of writing both in SL and in real life, I have often experienced times when I just couldn't find the right words or the right ideas to put on paper (or on computer, as the case may be). I am actually experiencing that right now almost halfway through my second novel (and I also experienced it at about the same point in my first novel). There are some "tricks' that can help, one of which is definitely not thinking too hard. The other is to keep writing no matter how terrible or silly you think it sounds and then worry about going back to edit later.

But there is something I thought of recently that I wanted to share on this blog -- the difference between "writer's block" and "writer's blocks." Everyone knows that writer's block is when an author is stuck and unable to continue writing a certain piece or even unable to begin writing anything. But the term writer's blocks is a totally different thing. In fact, writer's blocks can actually help a writer get over or through a writer's block. Writer's blocks are those tools a writer uses to build a story. Jenaia Morane, a Second Life friend, author, and writing instructor recently hosted a Story Quest that allowed participants to "search" for clues that were actually story prompts or blocks that they could use to create a story.

The common blocks that writers use are dialogue, setting, characterization, etc., but they can use more specific ones, too. When I was writing "Cloudy Rainbow," I used many of my own personal experiences at college working on the student newspaper as well as almost all of my experiences with my cat whose death was the impetus for my writing the book. I truly believe that fiction writing is more authentic when it is based on fact which, of course, is fictionalized but still has a stronger impact on the reader than if it is based on purely imagined characters and plots. As a block for writers, true experiences are important along with interests and feelings. If you like what you write about, if you believe in it, if it evokes emotion in you, it will do the same for the reader. Maybe not as personally, but you know, we all do try to relate to the characters we read about. And most of our experiences are similar. Don't we all experience the loss of a loved one? Don't most of us fall in love at some point in our lives? Don't we all grow in so many ways through our lives as the main characters grow in each chapter of a book?

So if when you experience a writer's block, try to think of how you can use writer's blocks for inspiration. Your writing will start to flow again before you know it.

Change is hard but necessary

I just turned 2. That may seem a little strange considering I am writing this blog and have a daughter who is 4. But the explanation is simple. My real birthday is in May, but I also celebrate a birthday or what is termed a "rez" day in Second Life which I joined two years ago. It's nice having a second birthday, and this one has the added benefit of not making you feel older because you can look as young as you want depending on how you dress and design your avatar or character.

For my second year in Second Life, I decided to change my appearance slightly. Most people probably haven't noticed, but I have a new skin and shape. I didn't yet make any drastic changes like wearing a new hairstyle, but I may consider that. It's really much easier and less expensive to do a makeover in Second Life than in real life, but it's strange that one can feel so reluctant and fearful to do so. Just like in real life, change isn't easy but it can be beneficial.

In some parts of the world, the seasons don't change. In some places, the clocks don't either, or they change on different dates. But little changes happen to everyone every day. We may still get up on the same side of the bed and take the same route to work, but some days we may feel more tired than on others (especially when we are adjusting to the mini jetlag of changing the clocks as some of us did this weekend), some days we may be happier or sadder, and some days we just would rather stick our head in the sand like some camel and not bother getting out of bed. But all of us need a change. If we don't actually get away on vacation, we still need a break from routine whether it's escaping through a good book or visiting a virtual world.

What changes have you made lately or would like to make in your life? Even the little ones count. If you're afraid, just remember that change is hard but necessary. There are many things we have little or no control over, but, for those we can change, the power requires choice. We have to want to make the change and be prepared to face the result. It need not be drastic. It can be subtle like my Second Life makeover. The main thing is that it makes you feel better just trying something new, and you don't need to do it to please anyone but yourself.

So don't wait until a birthday or other special day. Celebrate yourself today and make some changes now.

What picks you up?

I find this time of year always hard -- the holidays are over, it's still cold most of the time (at least if you live in an area that has winter), and colds, flus, and other viruses are still knocking people out. Yet the promise of spring is starting to appear. Daylight is lengthening, trees are starting to bud, early spring flowers are preparing for growth.

The sun is a very powerful force. That's why people tend to feel gloomy on cloudy days and brighten up when it's sunny. There are other things that can pick you up, too. Reading a good book; a smile; a hug; an honest compliment; a nice cup of tea; a piece of rich chocolate; a relaxing walk; visiting a new place whether it's in real life or a virtual world like Second Life; petting a kitten, puppy, or other animal; a bubble bath; watching the sky, and writing. All of these can take you away for a few minutes to a few hours and give you a much needed break from the stresses of everyday routines.

So when you're feeling low and the skies are gray, do something that picks you up. You'll feel better and more hopeful that brighter days are coming.

What makes a romance romantic?

Valentine's Day is symbolized by hearts, flowers, and chocolates, but there's a lot of romance in literature, too. In fact, most books, whether they are classified as romances or not, tend to feature at least one love story. People like to read about romance, not only young people. It's an ageless topic, so writers have a variety of ways to approach it. By changing the setting or time period, characters or themes, a romance can be historical, suspenseful, heartwarming, erotic, or paranormal. Romances compete with mysteries in the large number of subgenres they can occupy.

But what makes a romance romantic? You can ask a dozen people the same question and get different replies based on their experiences, ages, education, etc. As a librarian for a public library, part of my job is ordering the books for the fiction collection which include romances. I have also recently written my own romance, "Cloudy Rainbow." For me, the best romances and the ones that patrons at my library ask for most, are the ones that tell a good story and don't necessarily have a happy ending but make you feel special and touched along with the main character. Authors such as Nicholas Sparks, Debbie Macomber, Luanne Rice, and others including myself, convey romance without racy dialogue but the use of words that invoke images and feelings, a setting that enchants more than seduces, and characters that are realistic and not based on super heroes, vampires, or Scottish Highlanders. No need to kiss the frog to turn him into a prince. In the best romances, the prince doesn't change into anything but himself and that's more than enough for the princess.

What makes a romance romantic most of all is what makes people fall in love in the first place. It isn't easy to define, but you know it when it happens. When you read that scene, peruse that page, close the book and wish it hadn't ended, you've experienced the magic. Whether you're 90 or 19, you never get enough of romance, and luckily, romances continue to be written and published every day. Find one that touches your heart and don't settle for a cheap date. The one you take to bed should be special and, of course, romantic.

Old News is Good News

I'm going to a reunion tomorrow of some people at my college alma mater who worked with me on the student newspaper. It's actually a publications reunion of those who were involved in the newspaper, yearbook, and magazine. I'm excited but nervous, of course. I won't say how many years it's been, but I'm sure I won't be able to recognize some people and vice versa. What will be most interesting are not the changes in the faces, though, but what people have done with their lives. Most of my fellow editors were journalism majors, but some were not. I was an English major and then went on to library school. Although I did find a job in my chosen career and have been working at a public library for many years, I have also been able to fulfill my interest in writing in a variety of ways, most recently self publishing my romance novel, "Cloudy Rainbow."

When I first found out about the reunion and considered attending, I wondered who would be there and what everyone was doing now. I prepared a short speech in my head to reintroduce myself to the group. One thing worried me. Should I stick to talking about my library job, as mundane yet traditional as it is, or should I reveal my writing endeavors in a virtual world? For the past two years, I've been writing for a newspaper that covers Second Life news, making $4 a story which is even lower than most starving journalists make. In addition, this past year, I've been volunteering as the Associate Editor of a Second Life library magazine called RezLibris. All this is done in my spare time, of which I don't have a lot with a 4-year daughter at home. But I do it for the same reason I joined the student newspaper all those years ago -- for the experience, the fun, and the challenge.

Would my old colleagues, no pun intended, find it interesting or strange that I have become involved in virtual writing? And would they consider my self-published book, also featuring a virtual world, a literary achievement or a waste of paper (since it's POD, that may not be such a factor). I'd love their feedback, their reactions, especially since one part of the book is taken from my recollected experiences on the student paper. There was no Internet back then, no social networking, no 3-D worlds like Second Life. But there was still the need for communication, the need for news that could be provided and reported whether to a local community, a college campus, or the world. That need remains, although the media has changed in many ways.

So as I prepare to share my own personal news, I decide that my virtual writing just may interest some of the college publications gang and my book is a tribute to them as much as it is to the cat who I wrote it in memory of. For what I learned and what I gained from my experience with them surely shaped what I am today and the writing that I do.