Virtual Arguments Cause Real Pain

These last few weeks have not been good for me.  Besides learning that a very good friend from library school whom I hadn't seen in years passed away (She called me a few days before she died), I also lost a very close virtual friend but not through death but through something I truly regret saying.  I've tried to apologize.  I admitted I was wrong.  I asked for a chance to talk.  I wrote an email explaining how life is too short to be angry at friends and telling him how badly I felt about what I had done.  No response.  I'm hoping this just means he's busy in real life or just not ready to make up yet and not that our friendship is over.  But all I want is to know one way or the other.  It's so true that the worse punishment someone can give you when they're mad is to ignore you.

As I grieve for my girlfriend from library school, I also grieve for my virtual friend.  We had some really great times together, and we used to talk in Facebook as well as in Second Life.  We worked together, explored together, danced together, and, sure, we had arguments, but I never expected it to end this way.  There were times I thought things weren't working, but I couldn't just walk away.  All friends have fights.  That doesn't mean they don't care for one another.  And just because you meet someone online and never "see" them in person, doesn't mean you can't develop feelings for them, doesn't mean you can't be real friends as well as virtual friends.  So when something like this happens, the pain is very real.  Believe me, it's as real as my apology.  I truly hope my virtual friendship isn't over.  I still mean what I wrote in the poem below that I shared at a Poetryfest in SL.

Virtual Friend

We met in a virtual world
a place created from fantasy
yet the friendship we formed was based on truth and reality
I can't fully grasp all that you've come to mean to me
I can tell you things that I can share with no other
I have no fear that you will hurt me, and you know your confidences are safe with me
You see me clearer than those who see me every day
even though you've never laid eyes on me
You touch me deeper than those who are always by my side
even though you've never laid a hand on me
Your support strengthens and encourages me
I am glad to share your sorrow,
You can heal my pain
just by listening.
And when we laugh together, it's at the same jokes
the ones written in the same books
but we read them from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet they are so close
as close as we are virtually.

Where does one find a friend? Not just an acquaintance but someone true, someone honest like you?
Age doesn’t matter, sex doesn’t matter
and distance matters even less
I guess
we never would've met years ago
before technology gave us a way
Today
there are so many ways to stay in touch online
You're always there for me
and I am thankful I found you along the path
It's a lonely walk otherwise
And when we walk it together, it's the same path
the one we follow that leads the same way
but we walk it from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet we are so close virtually.

Goodbye, InfoIsland!

At the July 29 CVL meeting that followed up an earlier meeting to address the future of the Community Virtual Library in Second Life, Abbey Zenith and Rocky Vallejo announced that InfoIsland would be closing as of February, 2013.  It is also very possible that Cybrary City II, currently under management by Rocky and not part of CVL but where many libraries and librarian-run groups reside, will also close if no one is able to take it over by February. 

While this news was not exactly a surprise, it was no less disappointing.  For the CVL volunteers who have spent countless hours working, playing, building on InfoIsland for the last six years, it is a tough pill to swallow.  The only plus side is that the Community Virtual Library, while downsizing, will not disappear.  It will be moved to a smaller space on Imagination Island that it will share with Rachelville and Seanchi.  There will be monthly exhibits and a meeting space.  The new location was shown on a map that those attending the meeting were able to copy.

Dancing Up a Storm

Last weekend was my daughter's dance recital.  She's been taking dance classes the last four years since she was 3 at Ella Marie Dance School.  In all her previous recitals, she performed once on a Sunday.  This year, for her ballet recital, she had to perform in three shows -- one on Friday night and two on Saturday!  For all of this, she received her first trophy (in the last three years, she just got a ribbon).  Now I think I am eligible for a trophy, as well, for attending each performance, getting her ready for each performance, toting along all her touch up supplies, etc.  But, in the end, it was all worth it.  Below are some photos of her in her costume before and after the show and also of her receiving her trophy.

Exploring the Atlantis Aquarium on a Field Trip

On May 29, I went on a field trip with my daughter's class.  Despite the hot weather and the bus ride with a group of second graders (an experience to remember), it all turned out nice.  The Atlantis Aquarium (recently renamed the Long Island Aquarium), has many sites to see, shows, and exhibits.  Holly especially enjoyed feeding the stingrays and bought a stuffed one in the gift shop. 

One of the best exhibits, besides the fish, sharks, sea lions, penguins, and monkeys was the butterfly and birds exhibit.  Set in two wonderland-type rooms, the children enjoyed seeing the beautiful butterflies and were actually able to feed the birds (using hand sanitizer).  My daughter was a bird feeding expert from her time at the White Post Farms bird area.  Many birds landed on her and one took up residence on her head for a moment!

We had lunch in the cafeteria and then departed on the bus after a day of fun exploring.

My Daughter's Communion: A Day to Remember

My 7 year old daughter made her first Holy Communion at Holy Family Church on Saturday, May 12.  Although her allergies were acting up, and we were all suffering from a case of nerves, the event went smoothly.  We had beautiful weather, and it was great to see so many friends and relatives at the church and the party we had at Fanatico's Italian restaurant afterwards. 

Here are some photos from the Communion and party.  The food and cake were incredible.  Holly changed her clothes once we got to the restaurant to be more comfortable.  It was a truly memorable day. 

Goodbye Seahorse

I wrote a poem in tribute to a special place where I and some friends used to live.  I am also illustrating it with some photos from the two years we spent there.  While Second Life isn't a real world, I've found you can grow attached to the places, things, and people in it.  I don't believe that's wrong or crazy.  Just like in RL, you move on after saying goodbye, but it hurts for a bit, even though the memories are sweet.

Goodbye Seahorse (February 2010 - April 2012)

by Dulcie Mills

You weren't the first

or the last land I will own,

but for two years, you were home.

Through all the seasons

fireworks and fireplaces

visiting with friends

or just in my own spaces

In the sunset

and in the storm

sailboats crossing

by lighthouse glow

On swings and porches

by pools and lakes

waterfalls flowing

Your choice was no mistake

Over footbridges and horse paths

by gardens before the sea

where butterflies played

and cats and dogs ran free

Once there were four

sharing a treehouse with three floors

for parties, dances, and games

or just to meet or hang out with the gang

Skating and Sledding

Barbecues and teas

swimming and chatting

how hard it was to leave

rez days and birthdays

Weddings and holidays

special moments and more

we remember celebrating on Seahorse

Goodbye, Seahorse

so long

Dulcie Makes her Debut at PoetryFest

I recently participated in the 2012 PoetryFest at Milkwood.  This event, now in its 3rd season, took place over three days from Friday, March 30 to Sunday, April 1 and included the readings of over twenty poets.  This was my first time being involved, and I was quite impressed both by the quality of the readings and the professionalism of the preparations.  Although I couldn't attend all the performances, I heard they all went smoothly and, despite SL's quirkiness, I neither crashed nor had any issues hearing or using Voice.  Harriet Gausman and Ginger Jorgental, of Virtual Writers, were also immensely helpful in answering my questions and helping me with the textures for my poem's displays. 

I read 11 of my poems, all of which featured Second Life.  Below, I've included a few of them, as well as a machinima of my performance at the Fest. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnQAa1rPHSs

SL's Cinderella
by Dulcie Mills

She's looking for a SL Man

at all the virtual clubs and bars

checking out the profiles

of all the handsome guys.

She's looking for a prince among the virtual frogs

tangoing on the dance pole

seeking someone to satisfy her

that's her goal

She's trying to find a partner
who really means all those hugs and kisses

flirting shamelessly

shaking those long tresses

She's out to catch an avatar
so be careful if you get an IM from her

She has the sexiest words to say

but they haven't yet gotten her too far

She'd trade an SL wedding
for all her one-night stands.

When she complains about rl and SL men,

all her friends understand.

She's looking for a SL Man
one with no attachments but who has an attachment.
She's hunting high and low for all male avatars in sight
looking for Mr. SL right.

She doesn't require gifts, but will take them if given.
She loves to dance and try out the latest animations.
including the Xcite ones which catch her fascination.

She's a lady avatar on a mission
aware of timezone differences
so every night she joins the party
either at noon or midnight SLT.

She's hoping someone will find her glass stiletto
that she lost while changing clothes from her inventory
A prince, a vampire, a goth, or just one special fella
to live happily every second after with SL's Cinderella.

SL Neighbor
by Dulcie Mills

There's nothing like a good SL neighbor
to help you in a jam

rerezz your house when you accidentally take it down

gives you good advice and doesn't repeat it twice
helps you in any way he can.

There's nothing like a good SL neighbor
one who doesn't block your land
with eyesores or dinosaurs
or holds any sim crashing parties without inviting you.
That's what virtual neighbors are for.

There's nothing like a good SL neighbor
someone who respects your privacy
but opens his doors to you when you need
feeds your virtual pets while you're offline
and sends you notecards that you might like to read.

There's nothing like a good SL neighbor
who always remembers your rez day
gives you plants for your garden or boats for your lake
lets you borrow lindens when you're broke
and never asks you to reciprocate.

There's nothing like a good SL neighbor.
It's so virtually true
that I'm so lucky to have such a good SL neighbor
as you.
 

Lonely in SL


Just like RL, you can be lonely in SL,
Just like RL, people can hide behind a mask
call it an avatar, call it a face
They can hurt you if you get too close.

Just like RL, people can lie
Just like RL, it's hard to know why
call it life, call it unfair
They can hurt you and not even care

Just like RL, you can be lonely in SL
Just like RL, people play games
call it virtual or call it real,
It's very much the same.

But just like RL, people can be kind,
Just like in RL, there are friends you can find
call it connecting, call it reaching out
Relationships are what SL's about

Just like RL, you choose who you trust
Just like RL, this is a must.
Call it being cautious, call it what you like
Just like in RL, you don't need to be lonely in Second Life