Only in a Virtual World

My co-worker at the library recently joined Second Life and is enjoying it immensely. She's experienced some things she could never dream of doing in real life, and I have had a good time (and have also learned) along with her, even though I've been living the virtual life for the past three years. In a virtual world, you never stop learning which is why so many librarians and educators have become involved. We now share a house on my island, although I recently put up a treehouse for her so she could have her own private space. She attended the barbecue at my house at which I introduced her to some friends and neighbors and also had a good time at the Ice Cream Social I had at Rainbow Gardens for the pet book exhibit opening for the Community Virtual Library's summer book fair. One of the highlights was spinning around on an ice cream cone merry go round. Where in real life can you do that?

I've also shown my new SL cohort, Twilight, the pleasures of freebie shopping and introduced her to midnight manias and lucky chairs. Where in real life can you sit in a chair with the letter of your first name on it and win a prize or click on a board and have a prize delivered to you if a certain number of other people have done so, too?

And where in real life can you create a memorial center for pets where people can add photos of their deceased pets to a pet viewer and view exhibits or attend events related to pets? Where in real life can you fly on a book to various spots that feature children's books with links to the works and the authors? Where in real life can you see or set off beautiful fireworks without the fear of any dangers or breaking any laws? Where can you buy a gown for $2 or a house for $5 or even get some for free? Where can you find events going on 24 hours a day? Where do you get to celebrate two birthdays, your real one and the date you joined SL (your rez day)? Where can you dress formal, casual, or even as a bunny or mermaid and always fit in? Where can you immerse yourself in your dreams and see them come to life? Where can you meet people from all over the world who can become real friends even though you only know them online?

It's been fun but sometimes a challenge explaining to Twilight how to change clothes (the importance of underwear if you're wearing a dress or skirt and are flying); how to eat and drink; how to join groups; how to open boxes, and how to flirt with handsome avatars (the last I think she picked up all on her own).

So now, Twilight is on a crusade to persuade other library staff to join us in the virtual world. One of my neighbors and a good friend in SL suggested we might get our own library island one day. I kind've doubt that. There's a lot of resistance and kidding when the topic comes up. If naysayers tried it, though, they might change their mind. Twilight even hesitated at the beginning, as did I. Now she is sharing a jetski with one of our neighbors, rope climbing on mountains, dancing by clicking on ice cream sundaes, riding boats down rivers, diving in my inground pool, relaxing on her bear rug in her treehouse -- all just the beginning of the virtual experience. And all it takes is an open mind and a computer.

A Poetic Look at Virtual Friends

I recently won second prize in the Community Virtual Library's poetry contest for my poem, "Virtual Friend" which is reprinted below. I posted the poem on Facebook and was both surprised and pleased that so many people commented about it. Hollyjean Allen felt it expressed her own feelings about her friends in Second Life so accurately that she wants to send a few of them a link to it. When I wrote it, I did have a certain SL friend in mind, but I realize that most of the sentiments are quite general and can be shared by many. I certainly believe that virtual friends can be as important to a person's support network, and sometimes even more so, than real life friends, although I also think that friends are friends, whether you meet them online or in person.

One of the lines in my poem asks, "Where do you find a friend?" Friends can be found anywhere, but there are many degrees to friendship. A person is lucky to have a close friend that they can share their ups and downs with. When we're young, we sometimes have a "best friend" that becomes almost like a brother or sister. But as we grow older, it's sometimes not as easy to form close friendships because we are involved in so many other things and have hardly the time for ourselves and our relatives, let alone a friend. It's sad that so many people go through life just having casual friendships. Whether a virtual world is the place many lonely people can find deeper friendships, I don't know. Speaking from the viewpoint of a person who is shy in real life, I do think that it is easier to strike up similarities with people online, although, of course, one must be careful. The advantage to socializing online is that the physical is not a factor, and some people may feel more comfortable revealing themselves when they are not being judged by looks or age or sex. As I also say in my poem, "Age doesn't matter, sex doesn't matter, and distance matters even less." Isn't it a great thing that people from all over the world can meet and interact via the Internet?

The photo on this blog is from a recent get together at my new SL house with a few of my virtual friends.

Here's the poem.

Virtual Friend

We met in a virtual world
a place created from fantasy
yet the friendship we formed was based on truth and reality
I can't fully grasp all that you've come to mean to me
I can tell you things that I can share with no other
I have no fear that you will hurt me, and you know your confidences are safe with me
You see me clearer than those who see me every day
even though you've never laid eyes on me
You touch me deeper than those who are always by my side
even though you've never laid a hand on me
Your support strengthens and encourages me
I am glad to share your sorrow,
You can heal my pain
just by listening.
And when we laugh together, it's at the same jokes
the ones written in the same books
but we read them from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet they are so close
as close as we are virtually.

Where does one find a friend? Not just an acquaintance but someone true, someone honest like you?
Age doesn’t matter, sex doesn’t matter
and distance matters even less
I guess
we never would've met years ago
before technology gave us a way
Today
there are so many ways to stay in touch online
You're always there for me
and I am thankful I found you along the path
It's a lonely walk otherwise
And when we walk it together, it's the same path
the one we follow that leads the same way
but we walk it from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet we are so close virtually.

Starting Off on the Right Foot after a Rough Beginning

New beginnings are always refreshing. My daughter starts Kindergarten this Tuesday (probably already has by the time anyone reads this). Of course, I have high hopes for her despite the fact that this past week has been quite trying for our family. An unexpected illness landed me in the hospital and turned many of my plans upside down. And I am definitely a planner. I organize, make lists, try to anticipate all upcoming appointments, jobs, events, etc. I put a lot of stress on myself, and that's probably a big part of my problem and why I may have come down with a severe case of asthma that has never been a part of my history or background.

I've never smoked or suffered from allergies before and, other than what I thought was a regular cold I caught a few weeks ago and other annoying but minor ailments I've suffered from lately, most of them more chronic than serious, I've been pretty healthy most of my life. Besides one small surgery and the birth of my daughter, this was only the third time I'd been overnight in a hospital and actually the longest hospital stay of my life. I've seen more doctors and had more tests done than I've had in years. I'm not one who likes to go to doctors regularly, but there was no choice in this matter. I was having severe breathing attacks, coughing spasms, and felt generally miserable. I couldn't eat or sleep and could hardly talk. It was a very frightening experience. Compounding it, of course, was my concern for my young daughter. I knew she was worried about me and was also nervous about starting school. It was a hard time for her, and I wanted to be there for her.

I had also been told to remove the new cat we had recently taken in from our house, even though several doctors agreed he wasn't the cause of the problem because, before the loss of my beloved Floppy two years earlier, I'd had cats all my life but that, because of my sensitivity, it would not be a good idea to have the new cat around for awhile. It broke my heart to have to do this and I knew it hurt my daughter although she understood it was to help mommy feel better, but we were lucky that a relative was able to temporarily board the cat while I was recovering.

Other concerns, although less paramount emotionally but still of significant importance, were my having to be away from both my jobs, my real life one as a librarian and the one I have been doing in Second Life for almost a year now publishing an online magazine about a virtual world. While worries about my real life job mounted because my sick leave was used up, my boss was very understanding that my health had to come first before I could consider coming back to work. Likewise, my staff on RezLibris took over handling the monthly production work so that I could take my time recovering. They knew that even though the magazine was not a regular paying job to me, it is still very important to me.

So it's been rough. I'm home now and starting to recover gradually. I'll be off from work a little longer and also taking a break from my virtual world endeavors, too. I'm concentrating on my health and learning to relax more which can only aid my recovery. I'll spend some quality time with my daughter and see her get started at school. It's been a hard start for both of us, but we'll get through it. That's about it as far as my plans because I've learned that planning really doesn't work when anything can happen to interrupt those plans. It's one step at a time now; day to day. That's the way you start. That's the way you go on.