A Poetic Look at Virtual Friends

I recently won second prize in the Community Virtual Library's poetry contest for my poem, "Virtual Friend" which is reprinted below. I posted the poem on Facebook and was both surprised and pleased that so many people commented about it. Hollyjean Allen felt it expressed her own feelings about her friends in Second Life so accurately that she wants to send a few of them a link to it. When I wrote it, I did have a certain SL friend in mind, but I realize that most of the sentiments are quite general and can be shared by many. I certainly believe that virtual friends can be as important to a person's support network, and sometimes even more so, than real life friends, although I also think that friends are friends, whether you meet them online or in person.

One of the lines in my poem asks, "Where do you find a friend?" Friends can be found anywhere, but there are many degrees to friendship. A person is lucky to have a close friend that they can share their ups and downs with. When we're young, we sometimes have a "best friend" that becomes almost like a brother or sister. But as we grow older, it's sometimes not as easy to form close friendships because we are involved in so many other things and have hardly the time for ourselves and our relatives, let alone a friend. It's sad that so many people go through life just having casual friendships. Whether a virtual world is the place many lonely people can find deeper friendships, I don't know. Speaking from the viewpoint of a person who is shy in real life, I do think that it is easier to strike up similarities with people online, although, of course, one must be careful. The advantage to socializing online is that the physical is not a factor, and some people may feel more comfortable revealing themselves when they are not being judged by looks or age or sex. As I also say in my poem, "Age doesn't matter, sex doesn't matter, and distance matters even less." Isn't it a great thing that people from all over the world can meet and interact via the Internet?

The photo on this blog is from a recent get together at my new SL house with a few of my virtual friends.

Here's the poem.

Virtual Friend

We met in a virtual world
a place created from fantasy
yet the friendship we formed was based on truth and reality
I can't fully grasp all that you've come to mean to me
I can tell you things that I can share with no other
I have no fear that you will hurt me, and you know your confidences are safe with me
You see me clearer than those who see me every day
even though you've never laid eyes on me
You touch me deeper than those who are always by my side
even though you've never laid a hand on me
Your support strengthens and encourages me
I am glad to share your sorrow,
You can heal my pain
just by listening.
And when we laugh together, it's at the same jokes
the ones written in the same books
but we read them from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet they are so close
as close as we are virtually.

Where does one find a friend? Not just an acquaintance but someone true, someone honest like you?
Age doesn’t matter, sex doesn’t matter
and distance matters even less
I guess
we never would've met years ago
before technology gave us a way
Today
there are so many ways to stay in touch online
You're always there for me
and I am thankful I found you along the path
It's a lonely walk otherwise
And when we walk it together, it's the same path
the one we follow that leads the same way
but we walk it from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet we are so close virtually.

Spreading the Word about Virtual Librarianship

I was among five librarians recently asked to say a few words about my experience as a librarian in Second Life for a convention of the Portuguese Librarians, Archivists and Documentalists Association (B.A.D) Congress 2010.





The person who asked me, Clark Abismo (Miguel Correia in real life) is a friend of mine who I met and worked with in Second Life. I was honored to have been asked to make this presentation, although a bit nervous, because I felt it was a good opportunity not only to help a friend and colleague and introduce fellow librarians from Portugal to virtual librarianship but also to review for myself what I and other librarians, most from the Community Virtual Library, have done in Second Life.

If you'd asked me three years ago, before I'd joined SL if I'd ever make a testimony about virtual librarianship, I'd probably say you were crazy. There are still many in the library field who feel that environments or worlds such as Second Life, actually they refer to them as "games," are inhabited by people with too much time on their hands or nothing better to do than play. This couldn't be further from the truth. Most SL librarians that I know have regular full-time jobs and, although they do like to have fun in SL once in awhile such as going to dances, this helps them to network as it does in real life. And as far as the type of librarians who join SL, they come from all over the world and bring with them experience and knowledge from their own academic, public, or special libraries, and the person who started it all, Lorelei Junot (Lori Bell in real life) of Alliance Library Systems is definitely not a person you would say plays games. She is a professional in every sense of the word and has brought that professionalism to the group that continues on the Info Archipelago now as the Community Virtual Library.

So speaking to groups like B.A.D. from Portugal or other countries or even locally, we can spread the word about virtual librarianship. And maybe those who hear us might join SL or bring their libraries here. Wouldn't that be great?

The Trials of Home Ownership in SL

For those of you who have been following this blog or those who are reading this for the first time or missed the last entry, I had been looking for a new place to live in Second Life. I had some offers from some friends who were very kind, but I finally settled on a brand new island or what is actually one parcel of an island that has been divided into four. These Isles, two of which I believe are still unoccupied as of this writing, are known as Seahorse Isle and are being rented by Sonja Morgwain and Jarhead Euler, two really great landlords. In fact, I know Sonja quite well. She is also the Estate Manager over on Cybrary City where the RezLibris magazine Office is located. I was thrilled when she contacted me about the availability of these rentals. She also mentioned some skyboxes, too, but since I had already spent some time in one, I wanted to try land this time.

The next step after moving onto Seahorse 3 was selecting a house. I wanted to use a different one than I had in my skybox even though I did like that one which was built by a friend, but since I had more prims to play with now, I wanted to upgrade a bit. It so happened that I had a house in my inventory that I'd never used from when I first joined SL 3 years ago. I'd never had enough land to put it out on and was eager to look at it, so I rezzed it, but even though it was a beautiful house and had some great features including a kitchen and bath, many of the scripts weren't working and, for some reason, I couldn't access the house's main control panel even though I was listed as the owner. I considered finding another house, but I really liked it otherwise, so I looked up the builder who was still in SL and sent her a IM. She responded quite quickly. Unfortunately, she told me the house was old and that she really couldn't do much to fix the scripts. She offered to refund my money, but, before she did so, it turned out that she found a newer version of the house in her inventory and that version had all the scripts corrected. I was thrilled. The sinks in my kitchen and bath now worked and so did my shower. I could control my whole house from the main control panel which included opening and closing my windows, adding ambience, etc. I couldn't thank the builder enough. She left, and I was happy and began putting out some furnishings. Well, for those who know me, even after three years in SL, I am still having trouble manipulating things. I went to take an object back, clicked in the wrong spot, and you know the rest. I took up a wall. Now I wasn't sure I could just put it back because it was a big deal with the original set up, and I wasn't about to mess with anything now, so I IM'd the builder, but she had already logged off. I left everything and waited until I heard back from her.

The next day, the builder returned and helped me put the wall back. In addition, she taught me how to lock the walls and floor of the house but strongly suggested I take some buildng classes. She also told me I shouldn't lock everything, especially the windows, because then I wouldn't be able to open and close them from the control panel. I was very glad to have my house back together again and promised her I'd be very careful and would definitely find some time to check out some building classes.

So everything was perfect until I started playing with my new kitchen. All I did was open the oven. I swear I only went to close it again. I can't even remember clicking "take," but the next thing I knew, the whole kitchen was in my inventory. Now it wouldn't have been too bad to move it back into place. It was only one piece. But it came with the scripted sink. And because I couldn't align it back with the water, it wasn't working. I didn't know what to do. I felt so terrible about sending the poor builder another IM, but I had no choice. I was so guilty that I only said in my message that the sink wasn't working. I was too embarrassed to tell her what I'd done, but I knew she'd probably figure it out. Well, of course, she did, but she was very nice about it. She'd done some of those very same things she told me and even worse but only in the first week she's been in SL, not after 3 years. But she was actually very understanding, and I thanked her profusely.

So now I have my house on my island, and I am looking forward to decorating and furnishing it. I am a bit hesitant about touching it too much. I am just too dangerous when it comes to houses. SL really needs to add an "undo" function to its options. For now, I will keep the builder's card handy and also my friends who build. And I will also look into those classes, but I do have a feeling my aptitude does not lie in that area. Not everyone is skilled in SL building. And, of course, my story is not yet over. Even as I try to end this, I had one last incident at the house. While putting out a table to prepare for a dinner party, I was changing its texture to darken the wood to match the rest of my decor when somehow I also changed the texture on two of my walls. Now I wait to hear back from the builder yet again. I am thinking to myself that while I always imagined moving into a home in SL would be so much simpler than moving into one in real life, that is not necessarily true, at least not for the SL skill challenged like me. But I will keep trying because practice is supposed to make perfect and even in the virtual world, that is probably true.

Moving Out - SL Style

Circumstances just turned out that I will have to give up my skybox in Second Life shortly and find a new home. I have moved several times since I've started SL, but for some reason, this feels like it will be the hardest relocation for me. Maybe because I was the most attached to this place. I'm sure I will find something new and possibly even better, although I may have to spend more than I'd planned. I actually have been very lucky in that I've had free office and home space for so long thanks to the AVL/CVL. And it's not that I mind paying so much. It's just hard to start over again, but I'm sure it will also be fun and a nice new start. I just tend to dislike change and take things a bit seriously, two traits that are really not compatible with SL which is a very changeable and non-serious place. What's nice is that I've already had offers from some good friends about rentals and even places to stay for free while I'm land hunting. I did rent a space already but am not too sure it will be permanent.

My real life friends and husband both think I'm crazy to spend so much time and express so much angst over this situation, but some of my SL friends understand. It's almost like I'm losing my real life home. And anyone who has moved in real life, can understand how disruptive it can be.

I can remember sitting on my gazebo last summer as the sun set looking over at my pond as my swan swam across it and thinking how peaceful it was. It made me feel nice just to have a spot away from the craziness and stresses of real life just for a few moments to myself. And then when I hung my Christmas stockings over my fireplace mantle this Christmas and put up my virtual tree, it was nice to decorate in SL and it added to my holiday cheer. I was looking forward to spring planting soon and I know I can still do it elsewhere, but I will have to say goodbye to this particular place. And I am reminded once again that life is full of goodbyes to people . . to places . . . in SL and RL. I'll get over it, but I'm still sad ):

Back to Writing

As my Rez Day approaches, I've been thinking of a few things I'd like to do in my next three years in Second Life (if there is another three years, one never knows). But, anyway, I really would like to learn to do some basic building. I still feel like a newbie in that regard. And if I have the time, I should try to take some classes. But since that is not where my talent really lies, what I really want to concentrate on is getting back to writing both in real life and in Second Life. After I wrote my virtual romance "Cloudy Rainbow," I tried writing another book but developed writer's block and then got involved with a lot of other SL activities, mainly working on RezLibris, http://rezlibris.com the magazine for librarians, which I am happy to report will be under new management soon but which I will still contribute, too.



I have been amazed to note how many writing opportunities there are for writers in SL. From poetry groups to writing clubs to magazines and newspapers. There are open mic nights, contests, anthologies, book readings, so many creative ways to promote your work. The Reader's Garden is a great venue and the Sci Fi Portal for Science Fiction fans. BookStacks is a wonderful group. Inksters has a large and active membership. The Learning Experience has a publishing division and offers many classes and workshops on writing. Netera Lander operates a coffee shop, tea house, and conference building where she conducts author chats. The Blue Angel's Poet Dive is also has a popular open mic poetry reading each Sunday night. The Virtual Writer's group is a great source of writing information on all SL writing activities. There are so many places and groups I can't list them all, but may can be found through a SL search.



So I am starting to let the creative juices flow because SL is the place to do that. I truly believe that SL attracts creative people. I have seen the products of so many creative individuals be it those that produce photos, machinima, builds, or stories. I hope that this will rub off on me. I know I have the stubborness -- lol and lots of ideas. All I need, alas, is the time.

No Resolutions This Year

Every year on New Year's Eve I make a list of resolutions that I end up breaking within the first few days of the New Year, so I decided not to bother this year. Yes, there are things I'd like to accomplish and it's true it always helps to have goals. Yet resolutions should be ongoing and not just once a year plans.


2009 was not a very good year for me. I was sick quite often and developed asthma for which I was hospitalized this past summer for a week. Although I published my first novel, "Cloudy Rainbow" in 2008, sales were not wonderful, and I have not been motivated to either promote it or complete a follow-up book. Due to my health issues and needing more time for myself, I also made the decision to resign from my position as publisher of the online magazine, RezLibris, which was aimed at librarians in the virtual world of Second Life. I don't regret that decision, but there's always a little sadness when you give up something that's been important in your life especially when it is hard to find someone to take over your position.

So other than trying to find ways to relax more, take better care of myself, and stay healthier in 2010, I'd also like to enjoy my five year old daughter more (she's hinted at a trip to Disney World for her 6th birthday next fall which I think will do us all good), find more time for friends, and maybe I'll be inspired at some point to start writing again or, if not, that can always be my resolution for another year. For this year, being healthy and happy is my priority, and I wish that for all of you, as well.

Searching for the Virtual Meaning of Christmas

It seems to pass us by each year in the rush of crowded malls and shopping centers, and I have to admit I do most of my shopping online now to avoid a bit of that. But while the season seems to start earlier and earlier each year, some decorations going up right after Halloween (and many catalog and online items being advertised in late summer), Christmas always ends up speeding by in a blur of torn wrapping paper and blinking holiday lights. Not much peace, not much joy, too much hectic, too much stress.

So I take a break and look at what the virtual world of Second Life offers, some beautifully decorated winter sims decked out with Christmas trees and ice rinks, falling snow and lovely ice sculptures. But yet again not too much in the way of the blessed. A few churches but not many nativities or mangers except those you can buy on Xstreet. I guess Virtual residents are more interested in ice skating or having virtual snowball fights than reflecting on the season, but that's okay. The magic is still there behind the pixels if you believe. And even if you don't, there are still some pretty sights.

What's most fun of all is if you own a home and can decorate it. Just watch the prims, and you're okay. It's also usually a lot easier decorating your virtual tree or hanging your virtual stockings from your virtual fireplace than doing it in your real home, and Santa would be proud to come down most virtual fireplaces. In fact, there are quite a few nice plates of cookies and hot chocolate that most virtual bakers sell that can be left out for him.

What about Christmas cards? Well, in real life, sending cards is often a chore and postage increases each year. But in the virtual world, sending a card is only a click away. Just drop them on your friends and spread the cheer.

So whether you celebrate in real life, Second Life or both, the main thing is to enjoy the season among family and friends and to remember the true meaning. It doesn't have to cost a lot to show you care. And in giving of yourself, you always receive much more back.