Only in a Virtual World

My co-worker at the library recently joined Second Life and is enjoying it immensely. She's experienced some things she could never dream of doing in real life, and I have had a good time (and have also learned) along with her, even though I've been living the virtual life for the past three years. In a virtual world, you never stop learning which is why so many librarians and educators have become involved. We now share a house on my island, although I recently put up a treehouse for her so she could have her own private space. She attended the barbecue at my house at which I introduced her to some friends and neighbors and also had a good time at the Ice Cream Social I had at Rainbow Gardens for the pet book exhibit opening for the Community Virtual Library's summer book fair. One of the highlights was spinning around on an ice cream cone merry go round. Where in real life can you do that?

I've also shown my new SL cohort, Twilight, the pleasures of freebie shopping and introduced her to midnight manias and lucky chairs. Where in real life can you sit in a chair with the letter of your first name on it and win a prize or click on a board and have a prize delivered to you if a certain number of other people have done so, too?

And where in real life can you create a memorial center for pets where people can add photos of their deceased pets to a pet viewer and view exhibits or attend events related to pets? Where in real life can you fly on a book to various spots that feature children's books with links to the works and the authors? Where in real life can you see or set off beautiful fireworks without the fear of any dangers or breaking any laws? Where can you buy a gown for $2 or a house for $5 or even get some for free? Where can you find events going on 24 hours a day? Where do you get to celebrate two birthdays, your real one and the date you joined SL (your rez day)? Where can you dress formal, casual, or even as a bunny or mermaid and always fit in? Where can you immerse yourself in your dreams and see them come to life? Where can you meet people from all over the world who can become real friends even though you only know them online?

It's been fun but sometimes a challenge explaining to Twilight how to change clothes (the importance of underwear if you're wearing a dress or skirt and are flying); how to eat and drink; how to join groups; how to open boxes, and how to flirt with handsome avatars (the last I think she picked up all on her own).

So now, Twilight is on a crusade to persuade other library staff to join us in the virtual world. One of my neighbors and a good friend in SL suggested we might get our own library island one day. I kind've doubt that. There's a lot of resistance and kidding when the topic comes up. If naysayers tried it, though, they might change their mind. Twilight even hesitated at the beginning, as did I. Now she is sharing a jetski with one of our neighbors, rope climbing on mountains, dancing by clicking on ice cream sundaes, riding boats down rivers, diving in my inground pool, relaxing on her bear rug in her treehouse -- all just the beginning of the virtual experience. And all it takes is an open mind and a computer.

Having Fun in the SL Sun

I recently hosted a pool party which was also a surprise real life birthday party for a friend in Second Life.

One of the reasons I rented land in SL, besides having a private place to change, was to also have a place where I could invite friends for get togethers. While these parties take a bit of planning and some work, they usually turn out well worth it because they are lots of fun. Add a nice music stream, decorations, and games for a group, and you have the makings of a good SL time. In this case, I asked a DJ friend to stream the music and my friend who happens to live across from my island to host part of it at his place where he had a great idea to do a fireworks show, too.

One of the highlights of the party aside from the swimming, dancing, bouncing on the bouncer, soaking in the hot tub, playing a beach ball game which didn't quite work but, hey, this is SL we're talking about, and watching the fireworks, most people enjoyed the Truthball game where we took turns answering questions about ourselves. Some of the answers were funny; some serious, but they were all a good way to learn about one another -- something that isn't always easy to do in chat or at regular SL meetings. One of the interesting things I noticed was how similar the answers were to the question about what brought people to SL and what keeps them here were. Almost all of us, and keep in mind we are a group of librarians, came here for professional reasons and are staying because of the friends we made here.

There really doesn't have to be a reason for a party in Second Life. Any excuse will do for a virtual good time.

Friends Never Leave You

I lost a friend last week and nearly lost another. The one who passed away was not a close friend, but I knew and admired her. The one who had a sudden emergency is one of my best friends. Both of them I met in the virtual world, Second Life. As I've written in this column before, that makes no difference to me. A friend is a friend no matter where you meet them, and when you find one, you are very lucky. It is not easy to find or keep friends in today's world with all our time limits, pressures, and other obligations. But friends are so important. They make a big difference in our lives.

Daisyblue Hefferman was a sweet and very talented lady who touched many lives. Her family knew what her virtual friends meant to her and contacted them when Daisy was taken ill with a serious stroke. When Daisy passed away, the community of librarians in Second Life mourned her with a special memorial service while her real life funeral was taking place, and many memorials were created to honor her in the place she contributed to with many innovative projects and which she loved so very much.

During the time Daisyblue was in the hospital and people were sending her get well messages and posting photos and videos of her work in Second Life to her Facebook page, Verde Otaared suffered a heart attack and had to have cardiac surgery to put stints in one of her arteries. Messages about her also appeared on Facebook. Fortunately, to everyone's relief, Verde pulled through and is currently making her recovery.

I learned a few lessons from this and also from my hospitalization last year for sudden severe asthma attacks. First, I saw the strength of the library community in Second Life, and this was far from a surprise. As someone commented during Daisy's ordeal, librarians are great people, but the librarians in Second Life are especially so. I also learned that things we take for granted such as our health and sometimes our friends, often our family, need to be our priorities in life. So many of us worry about such little things, although at the time they seem of major importance. When things like this happen, it opens your eyes. Lastly, I learned that friends never leave you even if they pass away. They stay with you as the fond memories you shared and live in your heart the rest of your life. That's the power of friendship, the miracle of the bond people can share whether it's for a short or long time, whether it's purely online, in a virtual world, or in real life. It's something you can't ever lose and something that needs to be treasured.

I was very touched when I attended Daisyblue's memorial and visited Heartsease Gardens where Daisy's plaque was added to those members of the SL library community who have also passed on. What a wonderful way to keep these friends close to us, as if they would ever leave.

My Spring Vacation

I recently took a short trip to nearby Spring Lake, New Jersey. Even with a little bit of traffic out of New York, it took only about 2 1/2 hours and the drive was even a bit shorter coming back. I chose Spring Lake because my husband and I had really enjoyed a trip we took years ago to Cape May, and I heard this was closer and somewhat similar. I did notice differences. I'd still like to go back to Cape May one day, but Spring Lake, on the Jersey Shore, was very pretty, and I enjoyed the trip very much and would highly recommend it as a place to relax but also a place with a variety of things to do if you are so inclined.

While we were in Spring Lake, we toured some of the nearby towns. Most of them have small shopping villages and a beach front. Ocean Grove featured some of the Victorian homes like Spring Lake and a very nice area of antique and boutique shops. I found a unicorn statue for my daughter's bedroom at the Scarlett Unicorn which had an assortment of items (only a few unicorns) in both their upstairs and downstairs shop. We ate at an outdoor cafe, Yvonne's, in town which also had indoor seating. The weather throughout our 3-day trip was picture perfect, and I took almost 400 photos using my iPhone because there were so many lovely spots.

We stayed at the Hewitt Wellington, a condo hotel across from the lake and not far from the long strip of Ocean Avenue beaches. Our room was a very comfortable suite with a coffee maker, refrigerator, and couch in the sitting area and a separate bedroom and a bath with a shower. The hotel also has a wraparound porch with wicker furniture where you can sit and look across at the lake. It was very relaxing to do this. On the last day of our stay, some folks were operating remote-controlled sailboats that were pretty to watch.

While in Spring Lake, we saw a play at the Spring Lake Community House which also houses their library (which, of course, I had to check out - no pun intended). We saw the Secret Garden on Friday night and just missed a very quick rainstorm as we got to the theater. The performance was excellent and the small theater had a full audience.

Also on the trip, I visited Jenkinson's Pavilion in Mount Pleasant which features a small aquarium, carnival stands on the boardwalk where my husband and I won stuffed animals for our daughter by throwing darts to pop balloons, and restaurants and souvenir shops.

Three days wasn't enough to see all the attractions on the Jersey Shore, and I'm told the crowds are heavy in the summer, but it's a place you can enjoy year round. I was sad to leave and even stayed an extra night but had to get back to work on Monday. Vacations are never long enough.

Finding Your Special Place in SL

My real birthday is May 9 which falls on Mother's Day this year. In second Life, the day my avatar, Dulcie, was "born" or what residents refer to as a Rez Day is March 6. I like to celebrate both days, as many people do. I don't always do anything big, although I've had a few Rez day parties. For my real birthday, I also like to do something in SL. It's always nice to have an excuse for a party or celebration, and there are so many places to dance, explore, or just have a good time with friends.

When trying to plan a place to go, I wanted to try some place different than the old standby, the Jazz Cat on Info Island International, although I always enjoy going there, as do many of my fellow SL librarian colleagues and friends. I asked for some recommendations but, of course, just like asking for a book recommendation, everyone's taste is different. I also checked SL blogs and the Destination Guide. I didn't really know exactly what I was looking for, but I thought I'd know it when I saw it. The problem was that there were too many choices, and I really wanted to visit each one to see what they were like.

I saw a play advertised, Alice in WonderSland, and thought that might be fun to try, but it wasn't performed on the day that worked best for me. I also considered a SL cruise that one of my friends had tried aboard the SS Galaxy or even a more daring voyage on the HRS Titanic. But when I visited Foxxie's Ballroom and Jazz Club in Shadowfox, I felt that I'd found the place where I wanted to celebrate. In addition to a really breathtaking ballroom of gold, silver, and black, the grounds of the Shadowfox sim feature lovely gardens scattered with dance balls, a gazebo, and a pretty lake with swans. You can take a hot air balloon or horsedrawn carriage tour of the area, have a free photo taken, row a rowboat on the lake, and, of course, shop. As far as dancing, the Ballroom has a strict formal dress code, but it is a classy place and worth the effort. Besides most ladies love to take out their gowns from inventory every once in awhile or buy a new one for the occasion, and men can always find a tuxedo tucked away in their inventories.

So next year, I may celebrate my Rez Day or birthday by seeing a play or taking a Second Life cruise or maybe I'll find another nice place or even just stay home, but, this year, I will enjoy a special night at Foxxies. I am looking forward to it.

A Poetic Look at Virtual Friends

I recently won second prize in the Community Virtual Library's poetry contest for my poem, "Virtual Friend" which is reprinted below. I posted the poem on Facebook and was both surprised and pleased that so many people commented about it. Hollyjean Allen felt it expressed her own feelings about her friends in Second Life so accurately that she wants to send a few of them a link to it. When I wrote it, I did have a certain SL friend in mind, but I realize that most of the sentiments are quite general and can be shared by many. I certainly believe that virtual friends can be as important to a person's support network, and sometimes even more so, than real life friends, although I also think that friends are friends, whether you meet them online or in person.

One of the lines in my poem asks, "Where do you find a friend?" Friends can be found anywhere, but there are many degrees to friendship. A person is lucky to have a close friend that they can share their ups and downs with. When we're young, we sometimes have a "best friend" that becomes almost like a brother or sister. But as we grow older, it's sometimes not as easy to form close friendships because we are involved in so many other things and have hardly the time for ourselves and our relatives, let alone a friend. It's sad that so many people go through life just having casual friendships. Whether a virtual world is the place many lonely people can find deeper friendships, I don't know. Speaking from the viewpoint of a person who is shy in real life, I do think that it is easier to strike up similarities with people online, although, of course, one must be careful. The advantage to socializing online is that the physical is not a factor, and some people may feel more comfortable revealing themselves when they are not being judged by looks or age or sex. As I also say in my poem, "Age doesn't matter, sex doesn't matter, and distance matters even less." Isn't it a great thing that people from all over the world can meet and interact via the Internet?

The photo on this blog is from a recent get together at my new SL house with a few of my virtual friends.

Here's the poem.

Virtual Friend

We met in a virtual world
a place created from fantasy
yet the friendship we formed was based on truth and reality
I can't fully grasp all that you've come to mean to me
I can tell you things that I can share with no other
I have no fear that you will hurt me, and you know your confidences are safe with me
You see me clearer than those who see me every day
even though you've never laid eyes on me
You touch me deeper than those who are always by my side
even though you've never laid a hand on me
Your support strengthens and encourages me
I am glad to share your sorrow,
You can heal my pain
just by listening.
And when we laugh together, it's at the same jokes
the ones written in the same books
but we read them from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet they are so close
as close as we are virtually.

Where does one find a friend? Not just an acquaintance but someone true, someone honest like you?
Age doesn’t matter, sex doesn’t matter
and distance matters even less
I guess
we never would've met years ago
before technology gave us a way
Today
there are so many ways to stay in touch online
You're always there for me
and I am thankful I found you along the path
It's a lonely walk otherwise
And when we walk it together, it's the same path
the one we follow that leads the same way
but we walk it from miles apart, worlds apart, and yet we are so close virtually.

Spreading the Word about Virtual Librarianship

I was among five librarians recently asked to say a few words about my experience as a librarian in Second Life for a convention of the Portuguese Librarians, Archivists and Documentalists Association (B.A.D) Congress 2010.





The person who asked me, Clark Abismo (Miguel Correia in real life) is a friend of mine who I met and worked with in Second Life. I was honored to have been asked to make this presentation, although a bit nervous, because I felt it was a good opportunity not only to help a friend and colleague and introduce fellow librarians from Portugal to virtual librarianship but also to review for myself what I and other librarians, most from the Community Virtual Library, have done in Second Life.

If you'd asked me three years ago, before I'd joined SL if I'd ever make a testimony about virtual librarianship, I'd probably say you were crazy. There are still many in the library field who feel that environments or worlds such as Second Life, actually they refer to them as "games," are inhabited by people with too much time on their hands or nothing better to do than play. This couldn't be further from the truth. Most SL librarians that I know have regular full-time jobs and, although they do like to have fun in SL once in awhile such as going to dances, this helps them to network as it does in real life. And as far as the type of librarians who join SL, they come from all over the world and bring with them experience and knowledge from their own academic, public, or special libraries, and the person who started it all, Lorelei Junot (Lori Bell in real life) of Alliance Library Systems is definitely not a person you would say plays games. She is a professional in every sense of the word and has brought that professionalism to the group that continues on the Info Archipelago now as the Community Virtual Library.

So speaking to groups like B.A.D. from Portugal or other countries or even locally, we can spread the word about virtual librarianship. And maybe those who hear us might join SL or bring their libraries here. Wouldn't that be great?